Are you ever really ready to stop being a full-time Mum?
Written By Felicity Rowe
Return to work….
3 words I’ve been dreading for the best part of the last 10 months. It seems surreal that I’m getting ready to head into the city for a RTW discussion with my boss. It’s certainly a conversation I would rather avoid, yet here I am, ready to face the unavoidable.
Don’t get me wrong, as far as bosses go, I’ve got a pretty good one. He’s been a huge supporter of mine in my professional life, as well as an interested and caring guide in my personal life over the past 5 or so years. And, truth be known, I actually don’t mind work. I’ve always been ‘career-minded’ and driven and passionate and determined in what I do, and let’s be honest, I love donning a tailored skirt and a killer pair of heels and living my best corporate life.
But, and this is a huge but....... I’ve changed. I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I’m actually enjoying playing house. There is something about being a stay at home mum and channelling my inner domesticated goddess that I’m bloody loving, and I’m not ready for it to end. These 4 walls are my domain and just quietly - I’m nailing it.
Despite the chaos, I’ve got my routine down to a fine art, and I feel like I’m on top of running the house, the meal plans (3 different ones mind you!) the appointments, sports and social activities for the kids, hey I even have a washing schedule that keeps those laundry baskets under control. There is nothing I love more than to stick on a podcast while the little guy is asleep and to get stuck into what needs to be done.
Add to that, that this past month has been mind-blowing in terms of development for my blue-eyed boy, and to think I won’t be here as he continues to take leaps and bounds in his speech, his movement and his thirst for life saddens me.
I know that I should be thankful that I was in a position to have a year off, after all, so many women don’t get that. And I know that, trust me I really do know it and I appreciate how much harder it would be for the women who have no choice but to go back at 6 months or even sooner. But this is my reality and I’m entitled to feel how I feel. In a way, the longer I have off the harder I feel it will be to go back. I’m getting set in my ways and my bond with my little guy gets stronger and deeper in every passing day. Making it all the harder to fathom being away from him.
So many people told me, “Don’t worry, it's your second child, you will be dying to go back to work! Hey you might even want to go back sooner!” But I’m not there. I’m so far from there.
So as I sit here, waiting for my little shadow to wake up so I can load him into the car and drive into a place that is all about to become so familiar to me again, I can only be thankful that I do have a job to go back to. A place where I am also needed. Where I know I can add value and feel a sense of accomplishment. It won’t be the same way that I am needed now, but it’s the inevitable and I’ll just have to learn to adjust.